At that scale on a single server then you are looking at pure socket performance, so C/C++ or Rust with specific libraries, or Nim (I’m still heavily impressed at its significantly loaded socket performance). I’d not recommend Go or OCaml, neither perform as well as C/C++/Rust/Nim when finely tuned (though they do well when not everything is finely tuned). You will be looking at memory pools, no-alloc structures, etc… etc… Honestly just adding more servers as better as redundency is always better for such things, at which point Elixir is just fine.
Still, hundreds of thousands per second is crazy high, I’m exceptionally curious what this is. ^.^